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Botox, Bikini Waxes & Boob Jobs. You Know, for Kids!

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Darka Dusty's Blog

Darka Dusty
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Botox, Bikini Waxes & Boob Jobs. You Know, for Kids!

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 05:47 pm PST by Darka Dusty

"Hello, Child Services? Hi. There's a crazy woman injecting her eight-year old daughter with Botox. Can you please send a rescue team for the kid, ASAP? Send a padded van for the mom, too."

This is the phone call I wish I could make as I learn more horrific details about Dr. Frankenmom, the karmically-deficient California mother who gives her daughter regular Botox and bikini wax treatments.

Britney Campbell, the poor kid subjected to the dangerous regimen, is crazy about it: "My friends think it's cool I have all the treatments and they want to be like me. I check every night for wrinkles, when I see some, I want more injections. They used to hurt, but now I don't cry that much. I also want a boob and nose job soon, so that I can be a star." Okay, every little girl wants to be like mommy, but this, dear friends, this is waaaay over the fine line.

Q: Why is Dr. Frankenmom such good fun?

A: Because she'll soon have you in stitches.

Perhaps Mom Kerry Campbell has her own problems. (Perhaps?) But it's so much more than the Karma that awaits her (anyone want to take a poll on what kind of insect she could come back as in her next life?). Mother-dearest just wants to maintain her child's youthful appearance. "I know one day she will be a model, actress or singer, and having these treatments now will ensure she stays younger and baby-faced for longer. I'm sure people reading this will think I am being irresponsible, but I ensure that I test the Botox and fillers I buy online on myself first." Irresponsible wasn't the first word that came to my mind, Kerry.

How low can we go!?

I thought our society hit a new high in lows when Abercrombie & Fitch introduced a padded bikini top for seven-year-olds the other day. But alas, we can sink even lower with a bikini wax to go with it. This latest story just about dermabrased my brain. Is it just me, or does anyone else see the gruesome changes that are happening to the Hollywood standard of beauty? I'm talking the freshly zambonied ice-rink of a forehead, pouty life-raft-looking lips, crazy cantaloupe boobs and the overstretched, skydiving expression that plastic surgery addicts sport.

Hey, don't get me wrong. I support everyone's right to do a little renovation in the name of self-improvement. As this blogger starts to feel the effects of gravity, the possibility of a chin tuck becomes more and more justifiable. And if the thought of power-sanding your face doesn't scare the living bejezus out of you and helps you increase your self esteem as you age, more power to you! Nip & tuck yourself into Joan Rivers-land if you want to. But the key phrase here is "as you age". An eight-year old is NOT aging. An eight-year old should be on a see-saw not under the cosmetic knife. Am I right? Is this completely mad or what?

Weigh in on what you think. But if you weigh in too heavily, Dr. Frankenmom's favorite liposuction doctor has an opening.

Comments

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2 Comments to "Botox, Bikini Waxes & Boob Jobs. You Know, for Kids!"
The profile picture for Mary Michelle Higgins.
Mary Michelle H... says:
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 03:49

Completely mad!

The profile picture for selina  man  man.
selina man man says:
Sat, 04/02/2011 - 05:15

crazeeee

 

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